I’ve always been a big proponent of finding balance. You’ve seen me promoting it around my website. Companies are promoting work/life balance. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” kind of thing.

It takes effort to make sure you’re giving attention to all of your needs and responsibilities. I’ve had deep conversations on the topic with friends who are struggling.

It’s a necessity. Or so I thought!…

I recently read Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently and it rattled my belief. In the book, Marcus Buckingham promotes finding IMBALANCE.


Through his research, he’s found we all have what he calls “strong moments”. When you start to recognize the activities that create those strong moments, you can work on creating more of those moments.

So it’s less about “finding balance” and more about creating more strong moments.

The happiest and successful women were living proof. They were all imbalanced and more focused on one area or another.

Maybe the key to finding balance is finding imbalance!

Needless to say, this got me thinking…

I make it a point to do my job, find ways to grow, exercise, and play. I have people say things like “I can’t believe you do that.” as if they can’t. It’s all choices and I make choices to do certain things. Just like they make choices to create their life. I intentionally work on finding balance.

But when I think about it. I mean really think about it…the times when everything were balanced…

I was bored out of my fucking mind.

Yep. I said it.

Ok, so then I did a little more digging and thought about the times when I was happiest. What was I doing right?

The answer: I WAS DOING

There was the time I volunteered…4 hours sleep, running non-stop, meeting great people, helping and being of service. Happy.

There was the relationship where we lived for our free time. Once 5 pm hit, we were on the move! Hiking miles upon miles, biking, scuba diving, 4x4ing, traveling until the point where I cried uncle for a day on the couch. Happy.

This past summer. Incredible road and mountain biking challenges, water skiing, traveling, quality time with those I love. Happy.

Now. Working long hours, learning new things, working out, helping people, writing. Happy.

And NONE of those times were BALANCED.

So now I’m a believer too. Time to change my tune.

One thing I did know for sure before I read this book was that it was a “strong moment” that lead me to where I am today with coaching. I am thankful every day I listened and recognized that moment. Find your strong moments and create more of them!

    Here are a few tips to finding your strong moments:

  • Take note of the tasks that you do where you feel a sense of accomplishment. Evaluate why it was satisfying. Were you in the zone with no distractions? Was it helping someone? Was it learning something new?
  • Pay attention to the things that you do that drain you. Is it something you can delegate? Can you postpone to a different day or a certain time so it doesn’t zap the rest of your day?
  • When you have a great day, look back and reflect why it was so great. Was it the people you were with? Something about your environment? What was your morning routine?

Once you do some reflection and identify these strong moments, you can find ways to incorporate more of them into your day-to-day activities.

It won’t matter if things are balanced or imbalanced…you’ll be feeling happy!

Tell me in the comments below what your “strong moments” are and how you’re going to create more of them! I’m listening…

Tami McVay